Three separate sightings of the Mystical Molicorn have been reported since the weekend.
Not since 1824, when a group of rogue children dressed in brown suits with horned hoods ran across the hills to scare tourists from the island, has there been so many molicorns spotted, so close together.
Molicorns, famous for killing our founder tiM zazU, look similar to the common mole, but with a large silver horn upon their furry brows. Or at least that is what the reports have always claimed. No one has ever been able to prove that the Molicorn exists as there is no hard evidence. So many people are skeptical. Will this new evidence sway the nay-sayers?
The first report was from gilL tickleyolK, a cheeky man who works in the bakery on sundays. He was working his normal shift when he claims to have seen the gleam of a small shiny silver horn poking out of the dutch oven. In his horror, he remembers picking up a rolling pin and hitting the oven and the surrounding area in hopes of killing the beast. But he felt no contact and once the authorities had arrived there was no Molicorn to be seen. However, DCI Bastard did find a few rats so the bakery has subsequently been shut down.
The second sighting was by a normal, perfect family, the goodWorthingtonS, who say they saw two Molicorns swimming in the bank fountain when they were depositing money. The creatures were just beneath the surface of the water, their horns cutting through and making ripples. 'My little girl had her feet dangling in the water, I'm so shaken, she could have lost her toes' said the Mother. Yet again, the authorities could not find any evidence of this frightening claim.
The third and final sighting, can not be called a sighting as it was by henrY from the council and his guide dog. henrY said 'My dog barked and barked, and I knew something was wrong, or he had seen something. Before I knew it I felt a furry creature nestle between my ankles and something sharp poked me in the shin. I would have sworn it was the dog, but then it spoke to me'. At this point Henry got too upset to continue. Police are rescheduling the interview to tomorrow morning to find out exactly what the 'Molicorn' said to Henry.
Molicorns everywhere. Frightening, isn't it? But will we be plagued by flesh eating monsters, and face the fate of all those poor soles in tiM's day? Living in fear and sacrificing our own spouses to the hideous creatures? Or is this still an age old myth that is being egged on by false claims and people with wild imaginations. I suppose we will soon find out.
N.B If you need baked goods, now that the bakery is closed, there will be a makeshift counter in jilL's shop selling scotch pancakes and flour.
Written by journalist monicA van monicaL (all views are on my own)